i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Your penis caused this!
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