i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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