I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
