??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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