So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Sober January is a disaster.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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