Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
