i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
