Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
