is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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