Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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