Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning

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(251): View more from Alabama

how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now

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(913): View more from Kansas

I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.

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(810): View more from Michigan

so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night

(1-810): View more from Michigan

About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'

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