I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize