Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Fuck appropriateness.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
