dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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