You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Are we still banned from the library?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
