i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
