How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
