he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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