The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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