at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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