Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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