I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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