don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Randomize
