Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize