so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize