i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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