don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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