it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize