I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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