Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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