she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
