we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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