And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
