Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
