Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize