reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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