he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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