So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
