Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
