Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
