Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
