just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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