maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
