Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Less talking, more tequila
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
