Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
