You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
