I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
