ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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