I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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