Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
