Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
