I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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