what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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