So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
