so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We are two peas in an std pod
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
