I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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