We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize