I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize