So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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