While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
