oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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