so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
