he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize