a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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